About

After a good deal of whisky shots in a biker bar, Jurgologie (f/k/a: JN) was conceived in the back of an El Camino. Or maybe on a pool table. Or, perhaps it was during routine sex between a married couple who no longer liked each other. You make the call! Interestingly, they actually married before conception, but Jurgologie’s father skipped town anyway, living up to the old Hillbilly Daddy Story as is so often poignantly illuminated on the Hallmark Channel or by Valerie Bertenelli on the Lifetime Network.

Jurgologie was born with a small dent in her head, giving some the impression that an inbred mule kicked her in Kentucky. She proved her sarcasm early on to well intentioned ne’er-do-wells whose naive, enthusiastic curiosity more than made up for their blind imprudence. To those who asked directly, “what happened to your head?” she made up stories on the quick; for instance, “I got shot, thank you for asking.” The only thing dumber than the person asking in the first place is that they believed it. Jurgologie learned very early that people are generally stupid and will believe anything. (Her mother has always said that Jurgologie has a “smart mouth,” and that she is far too sarcastic for her own good. Holy foreshadowing! Jurgologie’s smart mouth doesn’t speak to her mother and her husband anymore. Long story; see archives, which will be imported to the new site soon.)

Jurgologie had a trailer-park childhood and then spent her teenage years citing Nietzsche far too often, clad in head to toe flannel and listening to Nirvana and Nine Inch Nails in her dark bedroom, convinced that no one understood her. After a while, that ended and she went to college where she had a lot of fun but didn’t get into trouble beyond drinking too much because she engaged in too much nerdery in her political extra-curriculars and viewed college as a chance to get a jump on her career networking. Homecoming Court was involved, as was an intolerance for fellow students who didn’t know the words to the fight song. She was - and continues to be - by all accounts, an “intense” individual. Lots of time passed and things happened and she now lives in sin with her very patient boyfriend and her lovable, cuddly, bad breathed puppy-son, Ü. (His name is distinct, and since I’m now “anonymous,” I can’t post names and stuff, because what the fuck. Starting over is a pain in the ass.)

Jurgologie has had no formal writing training and it is quite obvious if you read this blog for more than three minutes. (She does, however, dream of being contacted by someone in publishing about writing a book, for she’s not in the know about book proposals or, you know, confident enough to submit one. BUT SHE CAN TOTALLY DO IT.) In fact, other than receiving the Fritz Schtruedel-Kaiser Prize for Excellence in Physics twelve consecutive years, she can barely feed herself. Indeed, she continues to wear velcro instead of laces. One wonders if she knows how to tie, but one is behooved not to ask as she is known for her mercurial personality. She punches hard and most humor her to avoid being punched or kicked in the mouth; she can fight with the bare knuckled indignation of an aggrieved lover. Also, she was a grip in the London production of Chess, the Musical, so she knows a thing or two about some things or two. She believes in equal rights for all people, but wouldn’t hesitate to support less rights for assholes.

She is just saying.

Jurgologie hates those who talk about themselves in the third-person, even though she is writing this herself and is doing just that. Further pet peeves are erroneous commas, poor grammar, those with over-inflated senses of their own importance, materialism, the unmitigated gall of the weak-willed, Fox News, telemarketers, most reality shows and pubic hairs on the toilet seat. Her interests include vodka, crime documentaries, animals, the complete collection of Billy Ocean, snacks, unicorns, and intense displays of sarcasm. She also prides herself on her ability to use intimidation and coercion as a means to an end; to wit, sassing someone into the fetal position crying shoulder-shaking tears of pain. She also fiercely enjoys harsh critiques of US policy. Harsh critiques of people she doesn’t particularly care for is a close second. Jurgologie is widely known to be a fun drunk, which is good because she usually is. She is OCD to the point where she keeps a dossier on her own mother, is impatient and quick to frustration, and giggles when someone uses the words “teabagging,” “poop,” “hoots,” “humping,” and “midget-porn.” Jurgologie is usually severely constipated, which tends to make her a bit touchy (read: stabby). She is, at this very moment, doing something very important that will positively impact all of mankind for eternity. She is a photography junkie and may go to art school in January. But she doesn’t know. She is relentlessly indecisive.

And she hates the popular kids. (Mostly because they’re assholes who are full of themselves and, therefore, fun to hate and laugh at.)

Jurgologie started blogging in April 2005 on a whim for all the same reasons anyone else starts a blog: to archive her own legacy of inane bullshit in the annals (not anals) of our fine nation’s history for all future generations. Enjoy.

^{Jurgologie is a writer* and photographer* who blogs at Jurgologie . Com.}

^{*Well. Not technically.}

The above bio is approximately 85% true. Just saying. The physics thing? And “Chess, the Musical?” Bald-face lies.

P.S.: What does Jurgologie mean? Nothing. I made it up, based on my dog’s name.