Archive for the 'Daily' Category
11.20.08
On Goblin Shoulders, and Being Put in the Front Yard on Blocks
Last year, Boyfriend’s left leg got into a fight with his right leg. The left leg won. Or maybe it was the other way around, but the point is that he hurt himself by, quite literally, not doing anything. It was the Great Typing Accident of ‘07, and he hurt his ankle for a few days because he was doing work on the computer, slouched down and with his legs crossed at the ankles. Evidently he sat that way for too long, his Bully Ankle turned into 8,000 lbs. and beat up the other one. He hurt himself whilst typing.
And somewhere a young illustrated boy named Nelson Muntz crows, “HA HAA!”
But now it’s my turn, only I seem to have suffered a cervical/thoracic sprain. I work out frequently, most of the time with weights, but they’re light enough where it would almost be a joke to sprain my back while doing so. And I’m certain I would have noticed if it had happened. But no, that wasn’t it. My new doctor informed me yesterday during my physical that I have a curve in my back. I had to touch my toes like we did in the locker rooms in middle school gym class and she noticed something. Fortunately, she said, it’s not the bone. (Thank you Jeebus.) It’s the muscle and something is pushing something to one side and apparently this is why my back hurts (really?), I have headaches, neck pain and why I have been feeling like my lower left arm is filled with static and white noise instead of blood. I’d like to note that I find it somewhat sad that I sailed through and loved Anatomy & Physiology, but I don’t remember the muscles involved in the Jurgologie Back Sprain Invitational, nor do I feel like looking it up.
Point is, my muscles are fighting with each other and one is kicking some serious ass, for when she told me to stand and face her, she confirmed that one shoulder is higher than the other shoulder. Happily, it is not as obvious as this (image not to scale):
and fortunately is not really noticeable to someone if they’re not specifically looking for it. But I now have to go to physical therapy for at least a month, and I start today.
Whee?
I’ve never been to physical therapy before and the only time I’ve ever known someone to have to go was when they hurt themselves while actually doing something. Me? I apparently really have made tension into a sport, because according to Dr. Doctor, that is most likely the culprit. Put me on blocks in the front yard, for I am broken down and rusting quickly.
I’m not going to laugh at Boyfriend anymore, and next time Nelson Muntz squawks, “HA HAA,” I will punch him in the back of the head because now he’s laughing at me, too.
PS: I now can blame my massive handwriting slant on my massive slanted monster shoulders. RAWR, sideways.